|Season 01, Episode 01|
|Air Date||September 17, 2002 USA
December 1, 2005 Canada
|Next||Wall of Shame|
Pilot refers to the first episode of the first season of 8 Simple Rules, which broadcast for the first time on September 17, 2002.
Cate decides to go back to work as a nurse and Paul has to contend with his oldest daughter, Bridget dating his co-worker Tommy's son Kyle. Paul and Cate are shocked to learn later on that Kerry, their other daughter has been suspended from school for skipping class because she is a perfect student.
Paul and Rory are watching a James Bond movie when a car horn honks. Bridget comes downstairs to leave for her date but Paul, after seeing what she's wearing, forces her upstairs to change out of her revealing clothes. Paul interrogates Bridget's date, Kyle. When Kyle answers his cell phone, Paul overhears that Kyle is also seeing Lindsey and warns him. Bridget comes downstairs ready to leave, but is upset because Paul actually talked to Kyle.
Cate prepares to leave for work. Now it's Paul job to get the kids ready for school and drop them off. They overhear the girls fighting upstairs. Rory is eating breakfast. Kerry comes downstairs in a bad mood. Bridget joins them, dressed in very revealing clothes. Bridget and Paul argue over her clothes and reason for thong underwear. We learn that Rory shows his friends Bridget's underwear drawer. Paul tries to talk to Kerry, but she snaps at him. The girls object to their sack lunches claiming that they are uncool. As the girls get dropped off they give Paul some rules about his behaviour. To mock them, Paul breaks all their rules.
At work, Paul complains about his children to Tommy, a co-worker and Kyle's father. They are both parents of teenagers. Paul gets a phone call.
In the principal's office Paul can't believe Kerry's suspended for ditching school. The principal is concerned about disturbing events at home. They explain that Cate went back to work. After the meeting Cate needs to rush back to the hospital. Paul tries to handle the situation with Kerry, but she just gives him a look.
Later at home, Paul goes to talk to Kerry about her behavior. Bridget escapes to "the library." Paul ushers Rory out, he was hiding in the closet. He wants to know what's going with Kerry that would make her ditch school. While he's talking, he searches her room for drugs.
That night while Paul's working on the computer, he instant messages with a guy named Jesse. He's interrupted by a phone call from Bridget asking for a ride home from the mall. She tries to explain, but talks a mile a minute and doesn't really make sense. When she doesn't get her way, she hangs up on Paul. Feeling bad for her, Paul leaves to pick up Bridget at the mall.
At the mall, Paul oversees Bridget and Kyle kissing. He tries to get a cop to stop it but the cop just thinks that Paul is strange and walks away. Kyle leaves Bridget for another girl. Bridget is shocked while Paul is sad for his daughter. He goes to console her but pretends he's at the mall looking for a new screwdriver.
Paul tries to understand why Bridget lied about going to the library. She explains that she tried to run into Kyle so he would ask her to the Homecoming dance. Kerry lets it slip that Bridget already has a date. Paul is angry now. He tries to ground Bridget for a month, but it gets negotiated to two weeks. Paul then punishes Kerry by not letting her go to the dance either. Kerry replies that she's not going anyway; when Paul asks her why, she says it's because it's stupid, but Paul then realizes it's actually because nobody asked her to go. He talks to Kerry, reassuring her that she's pretty.
Rory comes downstairs to find Paul while he tries to finish his article, and asks Paul if he thinks Rory himself is "pretty", and Paul snaps at him, causing Rory to bolt back upstairs. Cate comes home, wondering why Paul is upset. They then have a talk about how hard the girls can be. Kerry comes downstairs and apologizes for ditching. She gives her dad a hug and a kiss. Bridget tries to negotiate for an even shorter punishment.
Kerry is excited because a guy friend of hers is coming over. When Paul answers the door, he sees Jesse from the chat room on his porch, and closes the door in his face.
- Bridget: Mom says I'm ready to drive.
- Paul: Mom also thought I was ready for fatherhood.
- Paul: Girls! Don't make your mother come up there!
- Bridget (about her underwear): We're the thong generation.
- Paul: Well, maybe that's why your generation is so angry. You're always walking around with a wedgie.
- Paul: (when he's introduced to Kyle) Kyle, right. Just so you know, Kyle. If you ever pull into my driveway and honk, you better be delivering a package because you're sure as hell not picking anything up.
- Cate: No, you're in charge of the kids today.
- Paul: Oh, right! That starts today!
- Cate: Actually, it started when they were born.
- Paul: (to Kerry) You’re not going to Homecoming either.
- Kerry: I wasn’t going anyway.
- Paul: How come?
- Kerry: (beginning to cry) ’Cause it’s stupid. ‘Cause it’s for idiots. ‘Cause, God... (runs upstairs to Bridget’s and her room)
- Paul: (after realizing the real reason why Kerry isn’t going to Homecoming) Because no one asked her.
- Bridget: Uh, yeah.
- Cate: You’re the one who wanted to keep going until we had a boy.
- Paul: The boy is fine. It’s the girls!
- Cate: Now, look. You’re just having problems adjusting to the fact that your daughters are becoming women.
- Paul: That is ridiculous. They are not becoming women.
- Cate: Hey, you still have Rory, the boy. He’s gonna get older and you guys can hang out at Hooters and drink beers and come on to waitresses.
- Paul: That’s true.
- Cate: There you go.